Why is it every time I hear about how someone’s fallen into depression, I can’t help but think they’ll climb back out? Why does depression seem so beatable from the outside? Why does it look so easy to overcome? Whenever someone tells me they’re battling depression, I can’t help but secretly clap for them. I […]
I love the first hour of the day. I even love the first two hours of the day. I eat breakfast, I catch up on the news. If I’m ambitious, I work on whatever little project fulfills me. It’s every other hour that’s the problem. If a day were four hours long…! I’d get a […]
You know what’s wrong with this country? Every four years, there has to be an election. Just has to. That means whether two saints or two dipshits are running, one of them has to be elected. Well wouldn’t it be something else if the people said, “No?” If they actually had the balls to say […]
Oh, friends! What if I’m too stupid to live this life? Back in those peasant days–those days of hoes and beans–if you were stupid, you were surrounded by stupid. You were a peasant in the midst of other peasants. You fit right in and looked plenty intelligent enough. At least in comparison, you did. Ol’ […]
The shell of the nut matters as long as there’s a core. Having successfully delivered the gold, however, it is thrown away. Despised, even. There’s the response, then, you’re looking for. “Why read fiction when I can learn about things that have actually happened?” Because certain truths need their fairies to supply the message.
“I loathe my daugher, schizophrenic-frame of mind. Everything she is disgusts me. Groans, shrieks, and spit—damn it all. She’s barbarous with her mother, abuses the cat, and refuses the help of the very few friends she has: just the other day, a girl from her middle-school came over and asked to go bike-riding. Of course […]
He chants with particular stress on the repetitive words, reminding himself with the weight of the syllables, the strain on the breath, what a waste it is to live forever: “If I could, in any way, cease to start and start to end, I’d call my soul a blessing. At least a little movement towards […]
I’ve just come to the rather dizzying conclusion that one day, some particularly plucky chicken could come replace me and that no one would even notice. Of course, I would look different and probably smell different, too. But listen: looks and smells aren’t everything. Else we primates wouldn’t love the crotch. And yet we do. […]
Let this be a warning to all of you who wish to be inspired: don’t be. Don’t wish for the Muse! She’s a terrible pixie and—and, well, you’ll see: A wizard once loved a girl and he loved her very much. She was a darling girl and they were oh so very happy to Be. […]
It wasn’t a literal prison I found myself in, or else I wouldn’t be yapping about it. Why would I ever confess to running away from a real prison? They’d trace it right back to me and lock me up–all with a clean and cocky confession, too. No, that’d be too stupid of me. If […]
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