Let this be a warning to all of you who wish to be inspired: don’t be. Don’t wish for the Muse! She’s a terrible pixie and—and, well, you’ll see: A wizard once loved a girl and he loved her very much. She was a darling girl and they were oh so very happy to Be. […]
A man crosses paths with a violent sugar-drunk. I don’t know if you do this or if it’s only me, but whenever I get real down about myself and feel like pulling the trigger– –but I don’t even own a gun. I have to buy a gun first. I swear that’s the only thing keeping […]
Imagine a man who’s fled to a foreign country. After a particularly hideous divorce, he can’t stand the sight of anything back home. It all reminds him of her, her, her. His lovely wife! Now his lovely ex. Oh he can’t forget her. No, no, no. Such a lovely woman…. Oh! The memory of her […]
Her husband was always an angry one when he awoke. Not that he would punch you or anything if you stirred him up. No. But he would certainly shoot you the meanest looks you’d ever seen. He’d scowl at you like a gargoyle–the nose all bunched into a thousand wrinkles and everything. His fangs would […]
Don’t read any further. Everything’s fine now as it is. Nobody’s been harmed yet. But if you keep on going down the page…I must say you’ll be complicit in murder! So stop! No? Sadist. Killer. Fiend! You’re as much to blame as everyone else in the village. Which is to say, you’re a prime suspect. […]
Count them: 1, 2, 3. Goldilocks on the middle of the stage. Well, not the blonde girl. No. THREE BEDS, rather. So let me start all over again: 1, 2, 3. THREE BEDS on the middle of the stage! There’s one for the son, one for the mom and…well, you get it. One for the […]
§1. Inside a shabby hut, a few miles from the crime: Here are three reasons to kidnap the Witch, none of them very good: 1) to learn from her; 2) to eradicate the threat she poses (that is to say, to kill her); and 3) to possibly obtain an enormous ransom. “An enormous ransom? From […]
Use your imagination for a moment and pretend that jinn exist. “But what’s a jinn?” It comes in a bottle and produces such a dizzy spell that oh! to explain it does it no service. You can’t see it, but it’s a powerful, powerful sorcery nonetheless. “Oh! You mean gin! As in the toxic stuff […]
Whoever once wrote of the Princess and His Highness Frog, the Royal Ribbit, must have been a prince himself. Otherwise, the story wouldn’t have possibly ended with the kiss. Not with the marriage, either. Because the story really ends with their separation. Once an ugly toad, always and ugly toad; the feeling remains. He tortures […]
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